I was one of those young boys who fantasized from age 7 or 8 on about being kidnapped, tied up and gagged by other boys and later, men. I found it very erotic way before my first orgasm, and never thought it erotic with the opposite sex. It was was a relief to find out how incredible common this was when I reached a certain age, and fulfilling all these fantasies as an adult gave me one of the funnest sex lives in L.A. for years.
I get the rush of power dynamics, and trust, the illusion of having power over someone when it is actually being given to you to wield — this person trusts me to tie them up and not hurt them, and vice versa.
Where I have not seen much research is in how certain materials become sexually erotic. Leather, latex — to the fetishist it feels erotic on its own.The touch and feel of it, and the desire to be a bound and gagged captive — how far back does that go in human history? Did Roman centurions get asked to keep the battle gear on and pull out the twine?
Thanks for speaking freely about this. So many people need permission to drop the shame.