The Necessity of Empathy Now
It’s as Essential as it is Elusive
I have so long had the same lament about the conflict between Israel and the Palestinians. The inability/unwillingness of both sides to admit that if they were raised and formed on the other side, they would harbor the same feelings, attitudes and hostilities as their analogs.
My father used to quote a French proverb attributed to Madame de Staël: “Comprendre, c’est tout pardonner.” which means, “to understand, is to forgive everything.” The thing is, it is incumbent on the side with more power to make the greater effort to understand those they dominate than the other way around. As a gay man who came out in the 70s, it certainly helped that I understood why it shocked and upset my parents so much, that I acknowledged that it made sense, given what they had always been told about homosexuality. But it was far more important that they were willing to question their beliefs, to understand the innateness of sexual orientation and my experience as a gay person in particular. For I was only 17, and financially and psychologically totally dependent on them, and their refusal to do so would have been disastrous for me. I am happy to say that they enlightened themselves remarkably fast. (I had to make their choice stark, between having a gay son they accepted, or having no relationship with me at all. The opposition of most mothers crumble…
